Sharing a Fave New Find

Mum is visiting from Sydney.    She has asked me to mention her in this blog so that her friends "can read about me."   It's wonderful to have her here.  And it would be remiss of me if I didn't mention that she is beautiful, stylish, clever, curious about quite random things and an expert speller.

With her here and the sunny weather, ours is an extra happy house at the moment.

And look at this...  I'm one lucky girl because Mum bought me this dress a couple of days ago.  I feel like such a dickhead posting this photo, it's just so posy isn't it? But if I was smiling it would be worse, as it's obvious I'm taking this myself and to pose properly is just that little bit more wrong.  And yes, these pins haven't seen daylight in a good few months.

In my defence, I might feel like a wally posing in the mirror but it isn't a patch on this:

Anyway, I'm telling you about my new dress because it's now my favourite, as is the shop it's from.  Yes, I'm 35 and accepting clothes from my mother but I like to think I'll do the same for my daughter when she's old enough to buy her own things.

You can wear it to anything, it's machine washable and it doesn't need ironing - you can squish it into a tiny ball and will still look pristine.  And this little number fits everyone as it's one size fits all... although I have no idea how that works.   Not that I want to bump into someone wearing the same dress, but as someone who loves a good frock I feel it my duty to tell you it's available online. The dresses are listed in the right-hand margin under "N&Willow Dresses."  (This isn't sponsored by the way.   It's just that this is the kind of thing I'd love to hear about.)

http://www.lovelinksblink.com/index.php

And when I have some spare dosh one day, I'm going to buy it in blue and red. That's a bit princessy isn't it, buying the one dress in 3 styles?  But when you're onto a good thing, stick to it.  And I can justify it by saying I'm colour-coding for the jubilee.  Can't I?

(Don't forget you have until Monday to enter my giveaway!)


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Review & Giveaway

There are just a few certainties in life. One of them is I will not get excited by computer software.

Tell me The Bill is back in production = excitement.
Talk about some miraculous thing your computer can do = no excitement.

Allow me to illustrate my first point.

I made it. Now I hate to blow my own horn, well some of the time anyway, but I think that is pretty darn impressive for a complete novice like me.

I've been given (downloaded? See I don't even know what to call it) a package called Xara Photo and Graphic Designer. It's made by a company called Magix, who also do packages for web design and video editing.

And I'm excited. I'm excited because I'm working out how to put my head on Kate Moss's body - not that there is much need. We are sooooooo similar.

I'm excited that I can make fancy buttons for this blog and our Mums Away site. Like this one:

Or this nifty little button:

I'm excited that I can edit my everyday photos. It's a double-edged sword as it's the ultimate time-waster. I find myself digging out photos that were too dark or just plain bad, and I can fix them with a click or two. Clever!

The woman in the background does not please me.  Be gone, unidentified park lurker!

A click or two and she is out of my photo.
Plus a little bit of enhancing here and there, et voila ! I speak French!

I know it's not nice to gloat over some shiny new toy. So, and yes this is a sponsored post, Magix have given me an extra Xara Photo and Graphic Designer (worth £69.99) for one lucky winner.   Features include:

• Optimise, edit and design photos
• Illustrate, draw and paint
• 3D design tool (e.g. for logos)
• Create multi-page documents
• Create business cards
• Create animations
• More than 3,000 professional design templates

Fancy.

So whether you're keen for some photo editing, or you're a blogger after some extra oomph, leave a comment below for your chance to win. This competition is open to everyone, not just those in the UK.  The winner will be announced on Monday 4 June - so get commenting and GOOD LUCK!

**I think it's pretty obvious but this is a sponsored post. Views are my own.**


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Slogan T-Shirts. What Do We Think?

Check out what my husband bought last week.  "Close your eyes, I've got a surprise!"

That's my man.
(The writing underneath says "60% of the time it works everytime.")

Don't get me wrong, I love Ron Burgandy as much as the next person.  But this is the father of my children.  And he's wearing a shirt with "sex panther" written across it.  It's fair to say that if he never buys another slogan t-shirt again, I won't be devastated.  

Ron Burgundy, the original sex panther.  "Stay classy San Diego!"

He also has one with "Drink! Feck! Arse!" written across the front. I know I should hate this one, but I love Father Ted too much. Plus he looks great in navy, so I can overlook it. Come to think of it, an "I've kicked Bishop Brennan up the arse" t-should would be tops actually.

Then there is the one his friends got made for his bucks party many moons ago.  I quite liked that one actually, as far as customised t-shirts go this was pretty unoffensive.  They spent a part of the night at the greyhounds, oh yes, so the shirt said "this is going to get RUFF."  Geddit?  He still has it, which is surprising, considering the state the poor sod came home in.

The Gwyneth one is unforgiveable though. I think we can all agree on that?

Got any slogan t-shirts at home?  Any of you wearing them?  Any "Mummy needs a wine" numbers?


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Each To Their Own. Kind Of.

There are times when you see what someone else is doing, and it's not something you would do. But you just think, "ah well, each to their own" and that's that. Easy.

Then there are times when you see what someone else is doing, and it's not something you would do. You do a "ah well, each to their own" then realise others are not quite so casual. This is a surprise.

This week, one of my favourite blogs Styling You wrote about an article in the Daily Mail (why do I read it?? The DM that is. Not Styling You).  I had missed the original article, but it was about the fact that there are some blogs specifically about what some women wear to the school gate. You know, non-celebrity women on non-celebrity budgets, writing about everyday clothes for other mums. Simple, really. One of them is School Gate Style and although I have no school gate style to speak of, I think she's fab.

But the comments this article generated were just plain NUTS.

"OMG! has she nothing better to do than pamper her own vanity? And fancy being married to someone who obviously loves herself so much. Is there any left over for the kids?"

"Snobby and horrible people and what's the betting their children grow up with a horrible attitude towards others."

"Just who do these women think they are?"

"Spend more time on your children than your own vanity!!"

"And some mums work instead of take pictures of their clothes all day?"

"I hope my world never gets so small and dull that I resort to paying this much attention to what I wear to pick my kids up from school."

Really? Women paying attention to their clothes and sharing this with others is upsetting? You might not give a rats about clothes, fair enough, but how can such a thing get anyone so worked up?   Are her clothes stolen?  Did she forget to clothe the children?  Did her clothes somehow hospitalise her kids in a freak stiletto boot accident?  No?   Relax people.  Life is great.

Then there was this week's Time magazine cover. If you have been under a rock this week, this is it:

Whoah....! Hasn't this one hit a nerve? Again, I don't get it.  I'm not into breastfeeding children who can do basic maths, but others do - so what?  "Ah well, each to their own." The photo is obviously meant to be confronting.  But they're happy and no-one is hurt, so what does it matter?  Not everyone is into attachment parenting, and if you're not, don't do it.  That's not too hard is it?

Then I came across the cover of W magazine.

Now I am about to undo everything I just said.  "Ah well, each to their own?" No. This is where I hit my limit, for I find this one so ick.   Is it his eyeliner?  The fact that it's Tom Cruise?  The pistol pointing to his... er... pistol?  The boring earrings that are just a stripe?  The fact that I envy him his hair?  Is it the woman on his right's impossibly bony shoulder?  Is that a photoshop fail?  Is it her eye makeup? The fact she's inching her hand down his pants?  It's Tom Cruise!!  Would you put your hand down his pants?  No!  You would not!! Please tell me you would not!  Oh I really don't want to be thinking about Tom Cruise's pants.

Sure, when he was Maverick - obviously.  But since the couch jumping?  No.  You would not.  Please.

"Ah well, each to their own?"  Well... to a point.


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My News!

I'm sorry things have been so quiet here lately.  I'll be back on board soon so I can thrill you with tales of my bad housekeeping / model poses / chocolate addiction / beige furnishings.

It's been a busy time.

You might remember I once mentioned I was working on another project? Well, I'm happy to say it's been launched.

But first, some background. I moved to the UK when my children were 3 and 1. It's a time when you have so many questions, when there is so much happening, when you need all the help you can get. My aunt organised for me to get in contact with someone she knew who had made the move just before me. We emailed each other, me asking her a thousand questions, before meeting up and becoming friends.  We were each other's support network in those first few months and I can only speak for myself when I say that friendship has been a true lifesaver.

We both found that it wasn't easy finding the information we needed, and wouldn't it be great if there was a website specifically for families moving to the UK? So Ginny and I set one up. It's called Mums Away UK and here it is.

www.mumsawayuk.com

It launched just a few days ago.   There's still a tweak or two to be done, and we have big plans for more information and features.  But I know that a site like this would have been a huge help for me at the time.  We really, truly hope that it helps anyone about to make the move with their family - or those planning a visit.

I'd love you to have a look and let me know what you think.

We're also on Twitter (@MumsAwayUK) and Facebook (www.facebook.com/mumsawayuk) so if you're feeling kind please link up and say hi.  It'd be lovely to have more mates!

Thank you.  XXX


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Spitting the Dummy Online

Right, that's it. I am never, ever cleaning this house again.

Oh, get stuffed. 

Last night we went to bed in a clean and tidy house.  Well, cleanish and tidyish. This is me we are talking about.

This morning the kids got up and within half an hour had demolished every room.  I give them full points for efficiency - they were fast.  Their bedding was throughout the loungeroom.  Toy boxes were tipped over.  There were train tracks everywhere. Toothpaste was where toothpaste ought not to be.  There was stuff begging to trip you over at the top of the stairs.  Clever!

I think my favourite, though, was the piss on the floor.  That was nice.

So I am officially and publicly announcing that I am on strike.

Will anyone notice?



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Thanks for a Rather Nice Fluke

You know when someone is fishing for a compliment? How it's annoying? Well I just want to be clear and say that I'm not doing that with this post. Although, yes, I can see how it looks like I am.

"This Mid Thirties Life" was shortlisted for a Brilliance in Blogging Award. The category? Best video.  No I won't be offended if you're surprised.

Voting ended a couple of days ago.

The general idea was for me to tell you about it in the hope it got me votes. I was also meant to display this badge that would easily take you to the voting site.



I don't do many videos.  The few that I've done are very basic - which is a nice way of putting it.   I admit I do have a very fancy title for my videos, but that was made for me through Britmums (thanks Christine!) so I can't take credit for that. I have been meaning to make more because they are a bit of fun, but I just haven't. So to ask people to vote for this blog in a "best video" category seemed wrong.  While I am normally quite happy to embarrass myself, this just felt too awkward for me.  I imagine it's a bit like nominating myself for "most influential scientist" or "best bikini body." (Actually that reminds me of something, so just a quick aside here.  A girlfriend of mine once went on a blind date.  One of the first things he said to her was that his ex was Miss Nude Australia.  Is that a deal breaker or what???)

So I was just going to leave it altogether.

But this blog didn't just appear there by magic. Someone, somewhere, perhaps more than one person, voted for me. To ignore this looks really ungrateful and I am sorry about that.

So - thank you to that person, or those people, who got me shortlisted. I really am grateful you thought of me and I'm chuffed I was listed alongside such great bloggers. I might not be entirely sure what you were thinking, but it's nice that you thought it.

I was going to say all this on a video. But it's one thing for you to read this and think "yep, fair enough, her videos are pretty rubbish." It's another thing to watch me say it.  Like I said, I will happily embarrass myself most times, but this one just felt wrong.

Good luck to all those blogs shortlisted in the awards. x


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I'm a Crap Housewife

I am a full-time, stay-at-home mother. I love it and appreciate this time even more because it's temporary. But it's about time I admitted to myself what has been bleeding obvious for a while now.

I am a crap housewife.

"Honey, I'm home! Oops... wrong house."  

You know those housewives who have weekly meal plans?  A book for the household budget?  A file with important, housy things in alphabetical order?  Who wear things other than trackies and uggs around the house?  Who always have clean hair?  Who know where everything is?  Who actually use all their cookbooks? I'm not one of them.

This house is fugly. This isn't helped by the fact that it's a complete tip. How can I put things away all morning, only for me to tread on them that afternoon? How the hell do you clean these revolting beige, pleather couches?  Who buys a beige, pleather couch?  (I'm looking at you, beige-loving Landlord.)   How can a floor that's just been vacuumed be covered in tiny bits of paper? Is someone lobbing their rubbish in through our window?  I'll finish dusting and the dust just wafts around until re-settling on the exact same surface. We don't have a dryer, and owing to a distinct lack of sunlight outside, our wet washing is strung around the house. How can a kitchen be grimy even when it's clean? And then there's the bathroom.

The other day, a friend ducked upstairs to the loo.  She came back giggling at the state of the hand basin.  It was hideous.  That week I had resolved not to clean the basin every day because it was starting to mess with my mind. The basin is maroon (why? Why??) and even when it's clean it looks like an evil scientist's petri dish. When people start commenting on how revolting it is after just two days, you have to go back to cleaning the fucker every day. And yes, this bathroom warrants such language.

We have loads of visitors coming to stay soon.  I'm trying to sort the house out beforehand and I've got myself into a mild frenzy.  We don't have a spare room or cupboard space, so I've been clearing out cupboards with little effect.  The idea was so no-one will have to live out of a suitcase, but all my efforts have yielded is one tiny, pissy little shelf. And it's a moss green colour too. I've never wanted a spare room more. Or a dryer.  Or decent plumbing.  Or a talent for general housekeeping. Or one of those spacious kitchens where guests sip wine, while I effortlessly put together another impressive meal... which I planned at the start of the week.

I have to calm down and remind myself that family are coming from Sydney to see us and not to inspect our house. But aren't we all our own worst critics?



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